Crash

In all of these, nothing can drop me down but, feeling alone…

I like to be myself

Do you remember that good feeling I told you the other day? It's gone! I had a rough day today. It's better to say that I had a rough life these days. There is nothing to make you happy. All I see in the internet, in streets, in Medias, make me sorry about my country.

Some people came into streets and hit their brothers and sisters for nothing. They don't know who makes them do these. You know, our parents made a revolution 30 years ago but, that was different.

There was a man, a real man, who was one of us. He leaded the protest, he made the people believe themselves and take the control of their lives. There was nobody leading us out of Iran. That was us.

Today is different. A lot of governments are expecting to take this power down after many years. They can't stand us growing up and being ourselves.

It is not difficult to understand that who takes advantage of this change. I don't like BBC as a leader of revolution. I don't like to follow American government to make "my" country. I like to be myself.

Today

I don't know why, but, after a long time, i feel better today...

Living without secrets

Secrets have a lot of meanings. Sometimes we want secrets to tell them to someone, to have someone who knows our secret. But those are not real secrets. The real secret never comes out from two lips. In fact if you talk someone about your secret, that isn't secret anymore.

I have some secrets those I know they will be hidden in my heart until I die. These secrets are so heavy and I should be so strong to be quiet and not let anyone to know them. Of course I'm sure that I'm not alone and other people have a lot of secrets like mine. Life is too hard. You know?

Translator

The most important subject in my mind these days is being a "man". I'm trying to know my duties. In fact I see my duties most emphasized than my rights.

And exactly this is the question. I mean that most of my friends are not like this. They always tell me that my inordinate sensitivity will inconveniences me.

I tried to leave this mentality frequently but always something happened and made me think again. You know, there are two kinds of people; One who always uses other people to achieve his goals, and another one who always worries about his duties into others.

Well, most of my friends are in the first group. And I'm most near to second one. But maybe I'm not right and I should go to other side.

One day I was talking with some of my friends about these subjects and finally we found out that there is a "translator" between men and women that enforces them to lie sometimes.

Imagine that you are going back from work in evening and your wife had enjoined you to buy something from drugstore for her. Unfortunately you forget her order and you just remember when you see your wife's face asking you: "Did you buy the drug?" 

Men from the first group, which I mentioned above, usually lie in this case and fix the problem so easy. For example they say: "Drugstore was closed honey. I'll buy it tomorrow." because if they say "I forgot", that sentence automatically will be translated to "Honey! You are not that important to me, and sometimes I'm not thinking to you!"

But men from second group are not good lairs. If they face some problem like this, they confuse and start to apologize because of their mistake and go through aftermaths.

What do you do in this situation? Which group are you in?

Someone

I was talking about "someone" and I'd meant exactly "someone". He also was talking about "someone", but maybe he himself was that "someone". I was afraid and worried about him…

One-way road

Maybe you don't know what does mean that decision but when you wake up in the morning and see you're stuck in a one-way road, you have no choice.

Every day I tell myself: "This is a temporary world and there is no matter if you lose it" but honestly sometimes I'm not sure about my life after death. Even if there is a heaven, who can say that I will be there?

Last night I watched "Changeling" with my friends. In one of scenes a murderer on gallows, started to cry. The man who was heartless and easily killing kids, when faced to death, scared and started begging everyone to save his life.

Although thinking to death always makes me calm and gives me ability to continue my life and wish to finish it well. In fact I think our life is a hard try to understand death.